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Marriage Mondays – May 4, 2015

From Pastor Jacob T May:

Marriage Monday: Today my wife and I were driving down the road. (Hmmm… how many marriage Mondays could be written when it comes to couples and their driving habits?) We came to one of those awkward points in the drive where we were stuck. The person in front of us had a green arrow, yet the rear brake lights were still on. Do we honk? Do we wait it out? Do we say something under our breath? I went for it: Beep. Beep. It was a nice little nudge to make the person aware. They went and then, again, stopped right in the middle of the intersection, for no reason. I stopped, not quite sure what was going on, finally she pulled through and I went on behind her. As soon as I hit the gas I heard Michelle, “it’s red!” Ahhh… so I just kept on going, praying that the cars in the oncoming lane weren’t going to run into me. For a split second I thought that I was going to have to call Jake, from State Farm. (You know the one with the Khakis.) I pulled in to a parking lot and stopped. Michelle looked at me and said, “What are you doing? We need to go over there,” signaling into a different direction. “I know,” I said. “But, I just need a moment to collect my thoughts.” To which she replied, “Move over I think I need to drive.” Finally we exited our vehicle looking like Cubs fans in October, completely embarrassed. But, fortunately, we were able to laugh it off.

But, I think it does bring up the question: Who is driving? Or, better yet, what is driving your marriage? Often times we can get so bogged down in the abundance of tasks and commitments that our schedules do the driving. Our marriages, and families, will do whatever the calendar says. Maybe it’s our finances that are doing the driving. Who cares how many pieces of plastic we have in our wallet, as long as they keep giving us another one, we will just keep spending. After all, the more we have the better we will be right? I don’t know, maybe it is your career that is doing the driving, “I HAVE to do this for my job, I HAVE to work this much, I HAVE to meet my deadline, I HAVE to…” Perhaps it’s the television or sports schedule. “Our conversation has to wait; the game is on.” “Please wait, son, this show is really important.” Who, or what, is doing the driving?

I wish I could say that I am really good at avoiding these pitfalls. I wish I could say that I am an expert about having the right driver in the driver’s seat, but I do not. In fact, that is one of the reasons why I started to write these Marriage Mondays. I wanted to encourage marriages and hold myself accountable in my own marriage. One of the things that I have to keep reminding myself is that God has to be the driver. When my wife drives we are in trouble. When I drive we are really, really in trouble. But, when God drives it just seems to work out.

I wish I had a step by step plan for how to do it, but the truth is that my wife and I are still struggling through this as well. However, one thing that is such a blessing for us is the treasure of worship together. There is nothing that adds to our unity like knowing that we are worshiping the Triune God, together. There is nothing more encouraging then when I hear her praying the same prayers that I am praying and singing the same songs and hymns that I am singing. There is nothing more unifying then drinking out of the same cup of grace that my wife is drinking from, and hearing the same Word and discussing it together. This is such a treasure, and I would not give it up for anything. For when we are in worship together God takes over. His grace takes the wheel.

I wish I could say that we have this down perfectly, but the truth is I like to drive and so does Michelle. However, God’s grace is so beautiful that even when we try and take over, we both get to hear the same word of forgiveness in worship together, and we hear the promise that He will not abandon us. He will remain with us, fighting us if He must, but he will drive us where He wills to a place filled with His mercy and grace. Thank you, Lord, for the drive we are on.

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