From Pastor Jacob T May:
Marriage Monday: When I posted my first Marriage Monday I assumed I would write a grand total of one Marriage Monday. I am not a counselor, or a marriage expert (just ask my wife). So, why did I write that first Marriage Monday? I simply wanted to write words of encouragement for relationships. Let’s face it, it is hard for two people to become one, and when we are in our own little worlds it might feel like we are the only couple going through our circumstances. Over the past five months God has put a variety of topics on my heart which I have enjoyed sharing. However, there is one topic that I have been trying to avoid.
Which topic makes me a little nervous and uneasy?…Sex! (Whew! There, I said it.) It is quite fascinating isn’t it that in a world that is filled with sexual images and messages, a healthy conversation about sex still seems a bit taboo? In fact, part of me is wondering right now if I will actually publish this tonight, or perhaps I will find something a little safer to talk about.
But truthfully, I think that is part of the problem. Many times it is safer talking about something, anything, other than sex. Think about it: Is it easier to talk about what happened at work or to extend an invitation of intimacy? Is it easier talking about the weeds you had to pull, or is it easier talking about the joys you have in your sexual relationship? Is it easier sitting in silence watching the Cardinals game without feeling vulnerable, or is it easier talking to your spouse about her physical beauty and how you are attracted to her? Is it easier going through a colonoscopy or…(ok maybe I am taking this too far)… But, the point is there: it can be a little awkward because it is so personal.
Yet, isn’t that the point, or better put, isn’t that part of the GIFT? It IS personal, it IS intimate, and there is only one person on the planet whom you get to explore and enjoy your sexuality with, the person that God has gifted to you. And, just like every other aspect of your marriage, you and your spouse need to, and get to, communicate about sex.
A colleague of mine once told me, the best thing a mother and father can do for their family is have a healthy sex life. What did he mean by this? Perhaps 1 Corinthians 7 can shed some light on this statement: “The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”
Sex is an important part of a marriage. Just as we talk about finances, challenges, likes and dislikes, sexual intimacy is a topic that cannot be neglected. If we do neglect it, Satan will use that as a snare in our marriages. If we do not talk about it, then we may be tempted to find fulfillment somewhere else. If we do not talk about our concerns in our sexual relationship, then we may be tempted to despise the gift. If we do not talk about our physical needs in a healthy manner, then our sexual appetite might become unhealthy. However, the opposite is also true; if we see sex as a gift and devote our lives and our bodies to our spouse, then we will experience the kind of intimacy that blows conversations about work, weeds, and colonoscopies out of the water. It will be the kind of intimacy that God created us to partake in.
Ok, we did it! And, since we made it this far I might as well say it, keep having sex! Be intimate! It is one of God’s gifts to your marriage.