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Marriage Mondays – April 20, 2015

From Pastor Jacob T May:

Marriage Monday: Today, my wife and I, had the wonderful opportunity to go out for breakfast (a Monday ritual that I always look forward to.) I was only partly joking when I asked Michelle, “Do you have any ideas for Marriage Monday?” She thought about it for a second and shared that she did not have any ideas but she did share a thought that she recently had. For whatever reason she started to think about people in our lives who were married and she noted, “I can tell that they really love their spouse.” I wasn’t 100% sure that I knew what she meant so I asked her to clarify. She stated that if you watch how people interact with one another, and at the same time, listen to how they talk about their spouses, then you can start to see how much they actually care for one another.

I started to think about that for a while and she’s right. Now, some of you are probably thinking… “well that should be obvious, right?” To a certain extent it is obvious. We can see married couples and see their affection for one another and hear the way one talks about the other and such. However, I think where it is probably a little less obvious is within the relationship itself, especially if the ways that we expect to be loved are not the same way our spouse naturally shows their love for us. (See Gary Chapman and his book on the love languages.) Sure, marriage is a lifelong process in which each spouse must learn how to love the other, but at the same time I believe it is necessary for each spouse to learn how to see the ways that their spouse is loving them. Perhaps he does not get you the flowers as much as you would like, but he IS adamant about checking that the doors are locked so that the family, his precious possessions, are protected at night. Perhaps she does not tell you how much she appreciates your hard work at the job, but she does quietly get up to tend to the waking children so that you are not exhausted for the next day’s tasks. He may not always say the words of affection that you desire to hear, but he might give you an embrace that shows how important you are to him. She may not ever understand how tired you are, but she encourages you to go golfing or hunting to have some rejuvenating time with your friends.

Am I saying that we should not have to try to love our spouses the way that they want to be loved? Absolutely not. But, what I am saying is that sometimes we might not be looking for their love in all of the right places. Many times Marriage Mondays are opportunities for us to think about little things we can do to better our marriages. But I hope today’s thought is a little different. I just want to encourage you! Your spouse loves you! I have absolutely no doubt about it! After all, this is why they married you. They love you! Unfortunately life happens, bills need to get paid, and jobs need to get done. But, besides the tasks of the day, I hope you are able to notice the little glances, the little “things” that your spouse does, not out of obligation, but out of love for you!

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